One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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