he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
