Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
