OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
