end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
