I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
