He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
being pregnant is like rehab
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
