I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
im on a boat
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