if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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