they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
honey bunches of taint.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
