Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
