I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
