There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I will pee on everything he values.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Of course I have a pirate flag
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
