...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's never too late to be topless.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
