id be glad to
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my sisters under your porch take her home
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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