she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
