I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
