She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
