Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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