She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Your dad touched me again.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sorry about my life...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
