WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
