Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.