Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Randomize
Follow @tfln