Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
