you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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