White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
