apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
