in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
