i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Life without a bra equals bliss.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
