well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
