the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
