last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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