Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
