from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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