That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
