One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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