Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
