My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
