I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
