why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
