Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
