he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You are a genius and a whore.
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