I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
ok first of all what the fuck
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
