New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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