You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
