Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize