I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
