This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
