Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
