I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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