she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if only i could text you this smell
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
