well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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