well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
