11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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