so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
