Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She told me I should be a condom model.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
