I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
