sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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