Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
