Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
