I accidentally burped into my bong.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
