He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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