if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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