In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
