she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
