Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
