Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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